Couples involved in unhealthy relationships stay together for a number of reasons. They stay together because of finances, the house or simply because it is just easier. Alarmingly, one of the most common of those reasons is the kids. Couples ration to themselves that their children are better off having both parents in the home and with them around the clock but the truth of the matter is that this may not always be the best decision for anyone in the home.
We often hear that kids need two parents and need to be raised in a two-parent home. Ideally this is, of course, what would happen, but this is not always what can or should happen. Sometimes the differences that a couple have are a major impact on the kids and their quality of living. It is essential that you understand when your relationship is so traumatic that everyone is suffering. If you simply cannot get along with your spouse, if there is abuse or other similar characteristics in your relationship, the best bet that you can make is to go ahead and call it quits. The kids will be just fine, and both of you will be able to maintain some of your sanity.
Options such as counseling are available to help your child cope with their new living situation, and it definitely helps. You can also be a great help to your child, answering their questions and helping them better understand what to expect. You can also offer suggestions that can make the time easier to bear, such as keeping a journal or attending a local support group. Why not allow them to participate in both? Meeting other kids who are going through the same thing can really help. It’s always nice to have a friend who truly understands.
It takes time to adjust. Give your child that time. Be there for them and make sure that the other parent is able to remain involved and active with them. Never let your feelings toward the person affect their relationship with their parent. But don’t stay together simply because you think that is what the kids want.
Sure, they want to be with both parents but they also want to be healthy and happy and in an environment that is loving and engaging. If this is not the type of scenery at your home then eventually it will cause more problems than what it is worth in so many cases.