Dating after a long break from the game can be quite stressful. Dating with children, well, that is another game altogether. Only you can decide when the time is right for you to get back on the dating horse and pray that it doesn’t take kissing too many frogs to find your Prince.
You have to be more selective in the choices with whom you allow to share your life. Your child is already without one parent either permanently or part-time and to have them bond with another person who may or may not stick around can be damaging to their emotional well-being. They need security and consistency over your need for a companion. You do not have to be alone forever, just mindful of taking things slowly, and it will pay off in the end. Slow and steady wins the race.
We cannot foresee if Mr. Right is a long hauler or just a Mr. Right now. You can avoid the heartache this could cause your child and yourself by simply not making introductions until after a healthy amount of time has passed. I am not suggesting that your new love interest not know of your child or children, but more so that your children not know of your new “friend”. Moreover, when you are ready to introduce them, then do so as a friend to get a feel of how they interact. This will also give more time for the relationship to blossom on this new level.
Sadly, I witnessed a young mother who sought a new father for her little boy. His real father ran at the mention of the pregnancy and so this sweet boy never even knew him. Well, after the fourth “daddy” figure, this tiny boy just gave up. He stopped trying. You could see it in his whole being. He bonded with all of the men who he met just weeks into the relationship with his mommy, and it wasn’t months before they too walked out the door. Not many men like to take on the daddy role so early in a relationship.
We are human; we will make mistakes especially in this area. However, you learn what works and what does not and go from there. Life is so much richer when you have someone you can share your life with. God never intended for us to do this alone.
Ladies, I know it is tough taking on the role of two. This is why God created marriage. He knew. Nevertheless, we do not always follow His plan and that is why life becomes messy. Perhaps you did and things happened that were beyond your control. Now you have the responsibility of caring for your children on your own and it is not easy. You will find love again when the time is right. Never lose hope in that.